What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

TEXT:

Is there an ideal number of sessions in individual psychotherapy? Is there any point in continuing after reaching it?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why do women have sex with dogs?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What is your worst experience in life?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What song are you listening to right now? What does it mean to you?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why is my vagina swollen, it’s very itchy. I had sex we used protection, but day after it felt like my insides had a heartbeat as well as itching, the pulsing has went away but it is still itchy and my discharge is yellow, i'm 15, what could it be?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What’s the best way to get over someone you love?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Why do I sweat so much after shower?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What are some sad truths about life?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority